Dinner for one or how to lose a superhero

This is something about a hero of mine. A person that I spend most of the New Year’s Eves of my life with, a person that shaped me more than any comic superhero ever has and will be. My beloved Grandma!

Sometimes life hits harder than Superboy’s punches that bring heroes back from the dead. I wish I could punch reality and bring you back. At almost 90 years you went to sleep without getting up again. You will always live on in my and everyone’s memories.

I will visit your resting place this winter, until then, here are some words from me to the world that will not do you justice but give a glimpse of what was and will live on:

Every weekend of my youth I had sleepovers at your place. I was the (hopefully funny) chubby kid in school and that was porbably because every Sunday morning I got up early, I believe 6:30 am and gave myself the full dosage of X-Men, Power Rangers (later on), Hulk and sometimes the weird cartoons that aired before that, I believe Captain Planet and that weird one with a ship’s captain trying to safe the environment. Sometimes I got up so early that the screen showed the no signal screen and/or later the credits of who dresses up the news anchors and a lot of staff and stuff by Endemol. Then you got up and made me coffee and after breakfast fed me whatever I wanted, mostly pancakes and loads of them, which led to me being chubby and maybe all the chocolate inbetween and cookies and everything up to lunch and after that. It was love that filled my belly.

You have also always been an avid reader, even until your last days. All of Paolo Coelho, The White Massai and tons of other books you devoured. Me and my sister at some point doubted you actually read all these books and questioned you and you replied with Wikipedia like knowledge without knowing what Wikipedia is. You win!

When I was 3, 4 or 5 you read that bird book to me and I somehow was able to name all these birds from the pictures alone. So you gave me superpowers. Obviously now I am super bad at telling birds apart nor would I be able to name more than 3 birds out of that book on the fly, but I still read and will continue to do so.

One day you had to cut me out of my winter overall because it froze shut after playing in the snow all day. Not long after we found several cans of what we, as kids, believed to be ooze that might have gotten us Ninja powers, what it got me instead was my hands glued together. Nothing you couldn’t fix, it took a chunk of butter, warm water and time and again love, something you had in throngs.

Another time you washed and scrubbed the back of my hand until it hurt until we both realized that I was just incredibly tanned.

Going to find mushrooms in the woods was one of my favourite things to do and you were the best to find them with. You pretended to not see some of them (I know that now) and made me win all these ‘competitions’.

At age 14 I dressed up as ‘Dolly Buster‘ for the German version of the carnival and complimented me on my fantastic legs with the advice to ‘be careful not to get touched, because I could really pass as a girl’. Haha! It was the most lucrative going from house to house I remember. Don’t judge me, Dolly Buster was a legend in late night German TV and always a good laugh in her German SNL parodies.

Never really bringing girls home you assumed that I was gay and even that was completely fine with you (You know that we lived in years way after the 80s. You told me to please bring however I am seeing next time I visit from China or whoever I am dating. Regardless the gender.

But most fondly I remember the New Year’s Eves. Sitting there until way beyond my bed time, you have had one glass of sparkling wine prepared for me. We were sitting there, waiting, eating, talking and watching ‘Dinner for One’ a classic and most repeated sketch on TV, that I to this day laugh about and enjoy. Watch it here:

There is even a Netflix contemporary version here…

We always had a dinner for two and then you let me light all the fireworks and the next day go out and collect misfired fireworks or some that haven been lit that I set on fire with my friends. Safe!

You have always been nothing but amazing to me and you will forever be. Rest in peace Omi!

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